Let's make jokes

Two mice sat in their hole watching Cat lurk outside. "I know how to make Cat go away," said the first mouse. "How?" the second mouse asked in surprise.

"Watch! Bow, wow!!!" barked the first mouse. Peering through their hole in the wall, they saw Cat running away in fear.

"Ah, see the benefit of knowing another language!"

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ..

A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.

There is a California dude going through a desert. He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman. He's having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching. He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea?" They look at each other and say: "Two thousand miles!" And he says: "Wow what a cool beach!!!"

In one of their adventures, Holmes and Watson needed to travel to a remote place. There was no house where they could stay, so they took a tent with them. As evening fell, they pitched the tent, and after they had eaten their supper they went to sleep in the tent for the night.
In the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson and said, “Look up, Watson. What can you see?”
And Watson woke up, and looked. “I see the stars,” he said. “There are thousands and thousands of them.”
“And what does it all mean, Watson?” said Holmes. “What does it mean?”
And Watson replied, “Well, if there are millions of stars and even a few of those stars have planets, it is quite likely that there are other planets like earth in the universe. And if there are a few planets like earth in the universe, there might also be life – living things like us.”
“You fool Watson,” replied Holmes. “It means that someone has stolen our tent!”